To all those who care to read, I go by the name Tyger at this stage of my life in Vietnam. Today, marks the 74th day of my adventures in Vietnam, specifically Da Nang.
(Now that I’m writing this, I feel it’s imperative to share some of my other travels in future posts)
How I discovered Vietnam is a question beyond measure, infused into the very fabric of creation as a whole. How… of all places and times, I chose to come here and stay for an extended period of time?
At the end of the day, it was just a rash decision. I am quite familiar with rashness. But even in this quickness, I find great reasoning behind it.
Decisions very rarely come about in isolation, but rather in a sequence of consequential events - all leading to a single point of contact.
Thus, I write and I find my way across the world, again and again. This time I am in the vivid land of Gold, an olden place known as Indochina, where lush greens meet the yellow sands.
Welcome to the Socialist Republic of Vietnam!
Discovering Vietnam: First Impressions + Reboot
An arduous journey from Canada brought me here, which started on the 12th of September 2024. It totaled over 33 hours of flight/travel time due to unforeseen circumstances. It all felt as if with every kilometer traveled, I was being pulled back to where I came from.
My boarding pass wasn’t available in Japan, so I wasn’t let on one of the flights. My visa had the wrong passport expiry date.
The Vietnamese embassy did not respond and I had to sign a waiver, taking responsibility for not being let in the country. I had to wait an additional 8 hours at the airport in Korea after 18 hours of travel already.
There is much, much more than this, I am simply painting a picture. There were opposing forces working against me.
Nonetheless, I found these challenges necessary to impress upon my mind the grandness of this rash choice. It all feels as if it was done to prime the synapses of my mind for change, no matter how small or large.
With seemingly great ambition (or severe discomfort) I have made my way here, ready to pounce. My drive to succeed with my personal goals was as strong as ever. As expected, this drive dwindled over time, as no engine was always on without any wear or tear.
In any case, all of this is due to my own missteps. It is simply an oversight, a lack of clarity for myself and my own mistakes.
Being here, being in Vietnam is a journey of faith. I am discovering Vietnam in mind, body, and spirit. And even though I am a proponent for exacting your initiative upon the world, the world also has its role.
It pushes you in the direction that it feels necessary. As my newly-acquainted friend here said, "Vietnam is changing me". I couldn't agree more with this simply profound statement, the world is always changing me.
Coming here, I’ve made what some could call a promise, but it’s more of a commitment/challenge to the self. I felt I needed more structure in my life, so I did what I knew how to do best.
I obliterated the structure I had by leaving it behind, only to establish a new one. All of this is done in hopes of it being more effective in a certain direction than the previous one.
In this commitment to myself, I’ve come up with a reboot protocol. This I have used successfully to bounce back from the self-created depths of my self-created despair.
My reboot protocol included:
A repeatable sleep timeframe
Time allocated for visualization/connecting with God
Writing at least a little bit in Russian
Completing my analysis of the day (what I enjoyed, what I learned)
Writing one poem per day
Reading at least 11 pages of any book per day
Speaking to friends/family to kindle relationships
Committing to a diet as I was getting fat
Exercising twice a day (once light, twice serious)
Drinking at least 4 liters of water per day
Completing 3 critical tasks towards my vision
Now that I think about it, I probably got inspired by the 75 Hard Challenge. I think I read about it on a Reddit post, and it’s bizarre that I started writing this post on the 74th day.
Out of all the days here, my total streak without compromise was 40 days in a row. After that though, I’ve fallen in and out of routine many times. I don’t see this as a failure, but rather as progress. One can never get a 41-day streak without a 40-day streak, so we start again.
In any case, 40 days was more than enough to bootstrap my executive function into working capacity again. I’ve lost weight while retaining muscle which was one of my goals.
I got a lot of work done that I’ve been putting off, such as finishing my first book draft, writing 70+ poems, and other things unrelated to this blog.
Later on, I’d remember how it’s quite easy to slip out of routine and fall into the external influences around you. The brain loves what it already knows, it’s more efficient and easier to manage.
This is the great challenge of life, to retain your inner structure while the external world attempts to mold your worldview in its favor.
Poem Writing Instead of Journaling
One of the actions from this protocol was to write a single poem each and every day. This commitment is not really part of the 90-day timeframe, because I decided to do this for an entire year.
And even though I did fall victim to forgetting/ignoring it several times (mostly during the heartbreak phase), I still chose to write the poems I forgot to write. Some days having to write three at a time.
What I didn't expect is how powerful poem writing would be as somewhat of a substitute for traditional journaling. Now that I am writing about it, I remember writing some “free-structure” poems when I was in my early teens living in Russia.
It became and still is an anchor for my time in Vietnam. It is creeping into my subconscious and extracting the emotional curves, the linguistic context, and the divine symbolism of my daily life.
The breathtaking landscapes, rich culture, and vibrant people have tangled into my writing. They breathe life into my verses and create a tapestry of emotion. All of my experience infused into writing would influence my verses.
The hidden desires and deep meanings would change the stanzas. The overarching mood and magnitude of life would empower the underlying story for each poem.
Book Writing As A Responsibility
Another of my daily actions was to commit to writing any of the several book ideas I had. I chose to focus on the one about staircases and slopes. As mentioned earlier, I already did this successfully.
My manuscript is finished, coming in at a little over 50000 words. A change of environment, additional discomfort from living abroad, and both personal/impersonal issues are what I needed for my good work to come through.
This purpose created room for healing, elevation for creativity, and space for pondering. Going back to reflect on the past 2 years of my life, all of the troubles pale in comparison to anything of importance on the grand scale of things.
But when you are living in the moment - seeing, feeling, and touching what bothers you, there is tremendous discomfort. In some cases, debilitating self-perpetual states of mind. There can be negative feelings, and they are undeniable when you are experiencing them.
How I ended up in Vietnam, I still do not truly know, but I am here. I surrender to this moment, and to each and every moment.
Life in Vietnam: God’s Hand
An overarching theme in my life is the way I perceive seemingly random events as deep connections or symbolism. Most of the time that represents God’s hand over creation.
Now this begs the question - is it my perception, or is it actually divine guidance? That’s for you to decide, for me, it’s the latter always.
Before making my free decision to come to Vietnam, I did what I always do before moving to another country. I watched lots of content, read lots of Reddit posts, and searched through a lot of blogs.
This by itself is not only a means for me to get acquainted with what I am getting myself into, but it is also a means for me to cocreate and create input for the “universal computer” to optimize the experience for me.
It’s by no accident that coincidences occur, as I feel we are given more power than we can ever imagine. I stand near and truly with the statement that “all things happen for a reason”.
For instance, I was watching several videos from a relatively small YouTuber, his channel titled Will Travelz. At the time had less than 2000 subscribers. He was living in the city of my choice, Da Nang. He was making videos on life there.
The first week I spent in search of a temporary 3-month residence, and all the peculiar things that happened in between, something even more bizarre happened. One afternoon I walked out on my balcony on the 40th floor with a phenomenal city view to get a little tan, and I overheard a voice on my right.
To my bewilderment, it was Will on the balcony next to mine, making an introduction to the video he already filmed. Of course, I seized the opportunity to grab his attention, and we had a conversation for almost an hour.
We had a splendid chat outstretched over the railings of our balconies. Not only was he there to make a video, but I found out that he is my neighbor for the next 3 months, as he has been living there long-term already.
Now to some people, this may seem like nothing particular, or me subconsciously seeking him out, but this is further from the truth. It’s extremely bizarre considering the chain of random events that led me to being there.
There were 20 other places I looked at. The only way I got into that building was through a random connection from one real estate agent to another. Before signing the papers, I had a choice between a house or an apartment, and I was leaning towards choosing the house more.
Not to mention, that was one of the 12 almost identical apartments I saw in this building. It’s also “only” in this apartment where I could start writing my book. The first day I moved in, I sat on my balcony with my laptop, looking over this orderly chaos of a city and I cried.
From these salty tears have come my sweet words. Together, they cover the whole spectrum of taste, everything that needs to be done is done.
Later on while in Vietnam, I would come across even more divine coincidences. These coincidences I have been blessed with over the course of my life, and I am extremely grateful.
Here are some examples:
Finding out my name with 2 variations of tonal expression means “heart” & “search”, which is what I ended up doing here and finding someone very dear to me
Getting reacquainted with the presence of the number 22, my date of birth (more on this later from my other travels and critical life moments)
Hearing rare music that I listen to play in the most random of places while discovering Vietnam. This happens often when I’m aligned
Seeing God’s presence in the eye of a monkey sitting on my motorbike dashboard in front of me, as if staring into my soul
Coming across the right people at the right time in the right place, just to hear something that speaks deeply to who I am or am becoming
All of my no-map motorbike adventures in Vietnam take me to the most unique places as if to show me something of great importance
Getting my motorbike impounded at exactly 22:22
Some of these examples are really bland, but I cannot transmit over text, the depth to which these moments speak to me. As I mentioned earlier, I believe in accidents, but I don’t believe in coincidences.
Adventures in Vietnam: Excerpts from Another Year
This journal note was written on my birthday, October 22, 2024.
Another peculiar occurrence in Vietnam is finding out that my name can be written in various ways. I believe there are 6 ways you can pronounce words, 5 of which actually change the sound, and 1 is like a non-modifier.
Because of this, words change their meaning. Thus, people might not understand not because you didn’t use the letters correctly, but because you simply didn’t say the word right “enough”.
My given name can mean Search, Heart, or Purple. Purple is possibly my favorite color, and I don’t know why. I believe I started making that choice after “Dark Knight” with Heath Ledger and Christian Bale.
To be quite honest, I don’t have a favorite color. I think I am just making it up. In any case, my name also means search and heart, I just put those two together and I get exactly what I was doing out here.
I was searching. Searching for God, searching for Love, searching for Meaning. The search is the constant in my life.
Life is never what you expect, it is so much more.
Reflections on Living Abroad: Living in Vietnam
Within my first week of Life in Vietnam, I came across an enhanced, on-steroid version of what I experienced in Colombia. Something that you may have heard of - walking.
In general, walking is placing a high degree of trust in other people, people you don’t know. And yet, most people don’t really walk around in fear. Crossing the street is an immense danger on the surface.
Crossing the street in Medellin was a hoot. But in Vietnam, it is even more challenging. No sidewalks, thousands of motorbikes, and no traffic lights.
And yet, there is tremendous order to this chaos. This is what my book is all about, order in chaos. And if there isn’t an order, create it. And if there is too much of it, disorganize just a little bit.
Living in Vietnam requires adaptation. Life as a whole is just a balancing act.
That’s why I jumped into driving, as it is only an extension of my already existing ability to walk. Most things are like that, not just while living in Vietnam.
Crawl, walk, bicycle, motorbike, car, etc. Not any particular sequence, but you get the drift. Almost all human inventions have to do with taking what already exists and adding/modifying it.
Cultural Reflections on Vietnam: Driving
After a month in the country, I started driving on my own. Driving in Vietnam is incredibly hectic, especially if you are not driving, but only observing.
The chaotic streets whilst on the back of a Grab bike felt like I was participating in a choreographed dance. Thousands of bikes weaving around, their horns creating a bubble of protection and a music of urgency.
And I thought, how could I ever ride here? So, what did I do to solve this conundrum? I got myself an electric moped (requiring no license) which goes up to 50 km/h and I just hit the roads.
Quickly enough, I found myself riding with ease in any of the traffic situations. Didn’t matter if it was peak hour, mountains and hills, nighttime, etc. No biggie, I just went with the flow - that’s usually the best way.
As someone who has been driving here for months, I can say it's very organized and coordinated. So if you have an eye for patterns and some degree of spatial awareness, you’ll be fine.
Also, it’s probably best you don’t think about driving when you are driving. You either drive or think about driving, you cannot do both well. Driving is at the core of the Vietnam lifestyle.
Date in Vietnam: Vietnam Lifestyle
I can only speak on my experience, and not on the dating scene as a whole. In addition to that, I only had girlfriends in Da Nang, which is where I spent most of my time in Vietnam.
Overall, my cultural reflections on Vietnam dating can be summed up in three words - love, lust, and confusion. On average, the women here are quite presentable, rather timid, and quite “ordinary”. And I don’t mean that in a negative connotation, but rather, in a traditional and societal sense.
This is a net positive and net negative, depending on who you are. Many women here like fluffy toys, plush and cute things. This may be groupthink, media pollution, or something else. Or maybe, girls are just leaning into their feminity a little more around here.
In one of my local experiences, a girl was dismayed over the fact I didn’t ask her to be my girlfriend after about a month of knowing each other. And I now completely understand her perspective, but I am a weird guy so there are various predicaments to consider.
I believe in implied action, so where I’m coming from, the girl knows she’s my girl because she’s my girl, and not because I said will you be my girl. Albeit, not asking, is probably just a fault of mine (maybe stemming from fear of commitment or loss aversion).
Women here who are serious definitely expect you to ask. But from what experience, they won’t usually tell you this, especially if their knowledge of English or your language isn’t prolific. They may bottle it up and mention it within the compounds of relationship issues.
Just to clarify, I don’t see people as boyfriends and girlfriends. To me, all people are in a constant relationship with me, with varying degrees of stability. I like to imagine the “Up Is Down” scene from Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.
A funny trait I picked up from my father is looking into words, almost transparently. If it sounds like it, it probably means it. I take the word Relationship and I break it down.
Relationship = Relation + Ship = A Ship In Relation
I interpret this as such:
A ship that has everyone coordinating together is a well-maintained, secure, and organized ship. It knows where it is going, why it is going there,e and how it’s going to get there. The external influences do not matter as much, but definitely affect its course - everything but bad weather is in its favor.
Whereas a ship in which everyone is not coordinated, does not actively maintain it, and does not ensure its safety - is a ship bound to break, sink, or get damaged. It doesn’t know where it is going and it has no idea why it’s even there. The external influences only add more to this chaos, only on occasion providing time for relief as the crew watches the sunset.
This is pretty much it for the thematic reflections on living abroad I can come up with my life in Vietnam. I’ve been to many countries, and I’ve written a lot in my personal notes, but this is my first attempt at sharing my notes with the world.
Hopefully, I’ve given some insight or provided some value to you with my reflections on living abroad.
Some of My Favorite Places in Da Nang
Further, I’d like to add a quick overview of some of my favorite places in Da Nang. I will try to keep it short and sweet with brief descriptions.
Also, if you read further on, you’ll see some more personal, deep stuff in regards to previous travels in my past. A little teaser for potential future articles.
Zozi Coffee 24/7
Nestled by the river, this 24/7 coffee shop has a minimalist charm, with soft lighting and a second floor dedicated to quiet work. It invites you for late-night contemplation, and early-morning and daytime focus.
It has some great drink options, but the food could use some work. The sandwich is definitely a sandwich, that’s about it.
Very cool staff that take care of the space well, I think they really enjoy the work they do. But, that’s simply my observation on the surface.
Pokebowl / Hideout
This place is incredibly well-designed with very cool seating arrangements. They specialize in poke bowls with various other options.
I’m not fully sure what the situation is there, but it seems to be a place that hires from the mute/deaf community (which is great). Some of the staff don’t speak.
As a tip, you can see some of them wearing different shirts with music sheets on the back. Some of these shirts have notes, and some don’t.
As I understand, the ones without are the individuals who do not speak or hear. I might be wrong though.
They speak Vietnamese Sign Language or some variation, which is one of the three main Vietnamese sign languages. Personally, I never knew that these communities have multiple languages, but it does make sense.
How silly of me, especially by someone who is enamored by words and language as a means by which life comes about inside and all around us.
GE Cafe
This place has two locations, very ambient and cool wooden/archaic decor. Albeit, I’ve only been to one of them. Lots of people in the early evening, and many people come there just to take pictures for their Instagram.
It has both indoor and outdoor seating, I think it’s open until 3AM. The seats upstairs are better for work, but the first floor has these integrated couches which are quite nice.
Very nice drinks and attentive staff, located in Hai Chau. Shoutout to Vy for helping me when I lost my microphone, even though we didn’t find it.
2000 Streetwear
A little odd streetwear clothing shop I found while scouring the city center alleyways. It has an interesting selection of clothing, mostly from China. A lot of the items have English misspellings, which I believe is on purpose.
The only reason I found it is because I was trying to find clothes that would fit me and replace my wardrobe of shorts and tank tops (lol). I wanted something a bit more presentable and edgy.
I bought quite a bit of items here, and I really like some of the hates. I think they make some of their clothing, but most of it is probably pre-made or bought from Vietnamese brands. It’s definitely hidden away, and I probably wouldn’t have found it if I wasn’t actively discovering Vietnam.
YG Shop
This is another clothing store that I enjoyed. I thought it had 2 locations in Da Nang, but it seems the other one was closed down. They have some very nice streetwear, but a little bit more upscale.
They have clothes that are more aligned with traditional Vietnamese style. The sort of clothes you see on the cookie-cutter dudes who wear their zipped jacket that bloats against the wind while riding their bikes, with their quarter-head helmets with a tiny leather wind cutter on the front.
However, there are some cool jeans, jackets, and other stuff. I really like the jeans they have, because I was looking for oversized pants I could wear while riding my motorbike. In my younger years, I had a thing for skinny jeans, but not anymore.
Quick warning: they usually don’t puncture the buttonhole for some reason. So either, you have to remind them to do it, or do it yourself with a knife like I did (almost cutting myself).
Woonail
A rather new peculiar interest of mine is getting manicures. On occasion, a fully designed set, or two pinkies. This started as a joke when my buddy was getting a massage, and I had nothing to do while waiting for him.
So I just told the staff to paint my nails in various colors. It looked hideous, especially with that gleaming silver. Anyhow, I removed all of it but the red pinky.
The place is very modern. It’s located on the 3rd floor of Normad DN cafe in Son Tra. The coffee shop is very stylish and good for content creators I suppose. It’s currently closed for maintenance or something, but you can still book an appointment via Instagram.
I never considered painted nails before. It was just random, and then I found out that my grandfather (a war hero) got regular manicures and did his own. He even applied nail polish to it.
His nails were neutral in colour, mine were a little bit more extravagant. But I ain’t no war hero, and I pay great respect to those before me, for without whom, I would never be here.
Bikini Bottom Express
American-style restaurant specializing in smash burgers, located at An Thuong. It operates long hours and is popular with tourists. I was there yesterday to finish up some work and eat these greasy burgers.
Overall, I’ve only been there on a handful of late nights with the boys. The food always seemed to be great to me, for you, that might not be the case.
The place accepts international payment methods, so you’ll have no problem paying. Unless you’re from Russia and sanctioned to the max.
It has nice indoor and outdoor seating, on the corner of a popular street. Apparently, there are multiple floors, but I never bothered to check so I am not certain.
They also have seating for Grab drivers, so you won’t be looking at a bunch of green jackets while eating like you do at Pokeman.
Bro Gaming Zone
Located near An Thuong, a very clean and small gaming space. It mostly has Playstations, Nintendo Switches, and some other platforms.
It’s brightly lit, so probably not the best place for a cozy date. But if you’re looking to have fun, that’s the spot. Many games of Fifa were played here with my boys.
Oh also, there’s a cinema room upstairs. This is private and has cozy adjustable lights. Now that’s the spot for a date, I had a couple of good ones in there.
Keep in mind - “Sex” is not allowed in there. So please, be mindful of the rules. In any case, sex on the first date is boring.
Unicorn Cyber Cafe
Very chill multiple-floor computer gaming cafe with food service, 24/7 access, private rooms, and team rooms. It can get quite loud with dudes playing PUBG or League of Legends. There will be screaming sometimes.
You might also hear loud Russian swearing on occasion or be submerged in a fair share of vape smoke. This place has blazing wifi, so it could be a good place to work or upload content if you don’t have access to a computer or internet.
It’s affordable so you could allocate your budget to work there, instead of buying an expensive personal device or something. I’m just rambling now.
Che Phuoc Trang
It’s showing up as a dessert spot on Google Maps. Albeit, I never had dessert there. It’s my go-to smoothie spot for unknown reasons, but I enjoy it nonetheless.
There is the occasional rat around, or a friendly roach nearby. That’s just the Vietnam lifestyle so what are we gonna do about it? Our life in Vietnam incurs these cultural shifts.
The place has got a cool black dog that roams around, as well as 2 or 3 cats that chill. It’s definitely not a place for hypochondriacs (I’d probably say all of Vietnam isn’t), but it’s family-owned and the staff is very nice.
It’s near a corner on Châu Thị Vĩnh Tế, right next to another tea spot. Don’t go there even if there’s no line, it takes so long to make your drink for some reason. We got a running joke that it’s because of their “Paddington” hats.
Mai Tea
A small orange and brown shack by the side of the road, usually with 2 girls working. They have some really nice boba tea, coffee, and other drinks, such as winter melon that is good for energy.
The drinks are affordable and great. I love going there in the evening to talk with family on the phone while motorbikes drive by, or just to get some sugar in me after Basketball or exercise.
It’s primarily a get-and-go kind of experience. You can still choose to sit on the small chairs they put up if you like. It’s right near Poc Poc, which is popular with students, and a Korean BBQ place whose name I don’t remember.
Notable Things and Life Lessons from Living in Vietnam
Holy smokes, this blog is nearing 6000 words for no reason. Anyhow, I am still going to keep going because I am enjoying the sound of these keyboard taps. Discovering Vietnam is discovering yourself.
Getting closer to death is the only way to feel more alive than you’ve ever felt before
God grants you passage and can take it away at any time
Playing Basketball with locals and participating in tournaments
On the brink of losing a game against a top Basketball university in Da Nang Getting my motorbike impounded at exactly 22:22 while living in Vietnam
22:22 screenshot of my iPhone lock-screen, even bad things happen for a reason Getting spun around in a traditional basket boat in the coconut forest of Hoi An
floating in a basket boat Going from a novice motorbike rider to a late-night thunderstorm Hai Van Pass driver (if you know, you know)
Seeing monkeys and all of their monkey business up close while discovering Vietnam
Cool little monkey chilling on the back of our bikes Seeing how humans make fun of the monkeys because humans are just more of a monkey than a monkey
Remembered that some people work extremely diligently and hard for very little money
Blissful simple interactions like smiles while living in Vietnam
our dear late-night gasoline specialist Riding 80km with a girl on the back of my bike, feeling safe even in the pouring rain
Wrote 70+ poems on various topics with varying moods and flavors
Wrote my first 50000+ word manuscript of my book
Started writing one my dystopian fiction book series
Started writing my non-fiction inspirational booklet
Dealt with heartbreak again as part of my adventures in Vietnam
A phenomenal and splendid moment of crying Reconnecting with Russian culture and its people who are building their life in Vietnam
Dealing with guilt and imposter syndrome severely while living in Vietnam
Crying several times with a dreadful feeling of loneliness
Cutting off my long hair that I was growing to get cornrows
Me with my long hair prior to cutting it Got prescription glasses for the first time, inspired by the Vietnam lifestyle
wearing my prescriptions at my favorite smoothie spot Went to a dentist for the first time in a long time, and found out my wisdom teeth are angled and impacted
Dealing with severe noise pollution from motorbikes (I have a genetic predisposition to hearing loss)
Getting back into fashion and redefining what I like to wear
a nice neutral tone fit Donated blood to a foundation for people living in Vietnam who need transfusion
Checklist in English for blood donors Immense diarrhea and fever over three days for no apparent reason (maybe antibiotic-related)
Going on 5+ hour motorbike trips through jungles, straits, and mountains when bored
the phenomenal sight of the Buddha's head, carved out of a mountain (top to bottom) Suspected I had an STD, but it happened to be Tinea Cruris (jock itch)
Almost getting stuck in a flooded rice field on a motorbike while discovering Vietnam
Driving through knee-high water in a random Hoi An rice field Dealing with homesickness in the first few weeks acclimating to the Vietnam lifestyle
Trying various methods to treat very red, agitated chest and back acne
Going on my first date in Vietnam at the attraction park, which had all of its rides closed, all but the large Ferris wheel
first date in Vietnam Randomly stumbling across a huge cemetery amid a mountain ravine (life is short when you are not living it)
where life meets death, and death meets life
I’ve also realized that most of the life lessons from living in Vietnam are just different variations of self-repeating lessons that come to you throughout a lifetime. Almost all of my reflections on living abroad have a common theme in some sense.
It’s almost as if all of the personal wisdom comes from a single source. A singularity that then breaks itself into these smaller meta-meanings that make up the web of consciousness throughout the universe. (wink, wink)
This is my life in Vietnam, or at least some part of it.
Travel As A Means to Discover the Self
It seems that every time I end up in a new place far away from home, it’s for always a good reason. Most of the time, the reason is something that I come to find out about later on.
I’m about to go off on a short ramble about some of my past travels, so please bear with me.
There are parts of me across the entire world, pieces of my heart, pieces of my soul. There are lost pieces of my mind, pieces of my character, pieces of my past, present, and future.
I am but a shell of what I used to be (whatever that was), but I feel no less complete than I did when I was just a child, a creature that knew its place in the world as the gift given by God, with no question for why or how I came to be.
I simply was, and am. I’ve found great solace in this mode of being. Albeit, my desiring attitudes strive for more, or they tell me I am swaying off the path (but even then the path is unclear).
There’s so much happening around me at all times, just like the movie titled “Everything Everywhere All At Once”.
It’s almost negligence to not pay attention to some of it at least to some degree. Thus, because I do pay attention, I find my way into the weirdest of places, finding the most peculiar of people, and doing unpredictable things.
Solo Trip to Mexico
My first solo trip to Mexico was for me to lose a part of my soul, but only to help me find out I still have one. I lost my family's silver cross (childhood baptism cross) at the bottom of the ocean, but I found God instead (reconnected).
It is here where I fell in love with, what I would call an Angel. All of the experience led to it being Haniel if I had to be specific.
This Angel I met in human form was there to teach me love as poise and as a muse (all of which was counter-opposite in my life). I had no muse/inspiring force for a creative jumpstart, and all of my love for a while was a caricature of self-infatuation. This changed.
It is here where I traveled with random Mexican fellas for 8 hours through the night to make my flight to Mexico City from Merida. The flight was canceled.
It is here where I felt extreme heat for the first time in my life, in Merida. A heat that made me sweat incredibly while trying to sleep.
It is here where I discovered action in the face of hardship, by navigating the extraneous challenges placed by airspace controls, political choices, and human reactivity in response to the beginnings of the epidemic.
Trip to Colombia
My trip to Colombia was to teach me temperance, connection, and the importance of “not playing games in the grand scheme of things”. My 6-month stay in Colombia ended on short notice even though I was planning to stay longer.
It is here where I found that my father has a late-stage terminal illness, and also when he found he has one. My father being a peculiar man, only found out about his cancer after his entire stomach became the size of a pumpkin.
It is here I helped heal a woman (her words, not mine) from a genetic predisposition preventing her from ever having children. She is now successfully a mother, albeit, a single one. And no, the child is not mine.
This trip, and more so, after the trip - I spent what was supposed to be two weeks (the doctor's consensus), but ended up being a year (god-bless) in the presence of my dying father. I’ve learned so much about life during this time, even though I wasn’t fully present.
I abstracted quite a bit because I was amid a spiritual pursuit (which I realized was incredible hardship).
Family is the most peculiar thing, some people seem to have it so good - it becomes bad. Others, have it so bad, it’s still bad - but they find good in it. And almost all of the time, family is simply dysfunctional, I am yet to meet someone who isn’t part of this equation.
At the end of the day, my greatest takeaway is that even though, in a father-son dynamic, both of you are playing a game; and either one of you doesn’t have to you. You can take initiative.
For various people, it can be in different forms. In my case, we both loved each other, but never expressed it in a true or meaningful way.
Ending the game is going counter to what you are so used to doing. Break the system, just hug your father. Hug your mother, your sister, your brother, or whomever it is.
The most generic cliche ever, told time and time again is death-warning. You never know when is the last time you will see your family or friends, they might never see you again either.
It’s a common theme of life that “We miss someone more than we embrace them when they are alive”.
Trip to the Czech Republic
My trip to the Czech Republic was to teach to me resilience, divine presence, and destiny. I came across the right places for the right reasons at the right time.
This is the time of my life when I was deeply rooted in symbolism, I was in the midst of this presentable order in the chaos around me. You can interpret this how you like, with whatever modality of thought you like - but when you are in the middle of it, being guided by numbers, images, people, words, sounds - it is undeniable.
It could be a self-fulfilling prophecy, your attention seeking out that which it is primed to focus on. But even if that is the case, it does not remove the potential for divine guidance or demonic involvement (two extremes) being part of it. I am a sure-fire believer in God, there is no way that I can be convinced otherwise.
On this trip, I brought into existence exactly what which I wanted and what was required of me through intentional suffering. It is here where I met God again at the top of the mountain, not only in concept but as somebody who envelops your entire being and you just feel “belonging”. This is an over-simplification, but if you know, you know.
It is here where I did hour-long runs in the immense cold in minimal clothes as part of my mind-priming. I was the only one running in late of night, I did not see anybody else.
The streets were empty and quiet. This was in the middle of the Zizkov area of Prague, which is rather populated.
Trip to South Africa
My trip to South Africa was to help me lose my innocence and bring me close to death to discover life. It is here where I first witnessed incredibly elaborate natural structures, intricately designed by natural processes.
It is here where I stopped in the middle of a village in the midst of some sort of altercation between the residents and police. Crowd control shotguns were used, and I still to this day, have one of the shells, blue in color.
In Camp’s Bay, near Cape Town - I got lost on Table Mountain for several hours amongst the clouds. The only reason for this is curiosity. I was doing parkour upon the rocks, and playing with life itself.
It’s here in South Africa where a whole Range Rover drove over the top of my toes whilst I was wearing strap sandals. No clue how I incurred no damage, I am not a physicist, but it was a hoot, for certain.
I also picked up some sort of intense stomach disease, which I believe I got from the rural safari I went to. This lasted several days with high fever, lack of appetite, and powerful diarrhea upwards of 20 times a day. Dehydration was imminent, so the doctor prescribed Powerade (lol).
Trip to the United States of America
My trip to America was to teach me how not to be lonely when I am expected to experience loneliness. I arrived in New York during the flash of the epidemic, the city was borderline closed and there was almost nothing to do.
Nobody really knew what was going on and whatnot, but I still found things to do, despite most places being closed down. It is here where I discovered deep historical symbolism that runs deep within the rock of this large city.
A memorable moment was driving my Joco e-bike on the large streets, all alone. I would ride in the middle of the day, with no cars or traffic to stop me. Even the parked police and bike cops, had no interest in me.
I felt like I was in the movie “I Am Legend” with Will Smith. Myself, being Will, of course.
It is here where I witnessed some of the most phenomenal old art at the numerous museums I went to, Metropolitan and MoMA, to name a few. My hotel of choice was the Moxy in Manhattan, which seemed pretty cool to me - it ended up being quite hipster and trendy.
Even though I have a taste for antiquity and archaic things, I didn’t really pursue that in New York City. I was mostly there as a temporary visit whilst returning to Toronto, Canada.
Trip to Cyprus
My trip to Cyprus was to teach me manhood in a new way, to test my fears, and to challenge my heart. Without the presence of a present male figure in my life, I had to gather whatever I could find. Whatever I did get, just didn’t cut it.
I went to Cyprus intending to try to rekindle some relations with my Sister and to meet her, newly-born son. I was there for about a month and a half, and I believe that my nephew brought out of me, the man I have to be for the world and people around me.
At the least, he definitely brought about the idea. I still have a long way to go. My sister and I still had some unresolved miscommunications, but there was definitely improvement.
It is in Cyprus where I was met at gunpoint with an IWI Negev on top of a mountain military base while exploring. It is here where I discovered the incredibly irresponsible joy of riding a motorbike with no helmet or shirt on gravel mountain roads.
It is here where I discovered deep Christian heritage and history by merit of Stavrovouni Monastery. It is here where I rediscovered Shakespeare by merit of “Othello”.
It is here where I reached incredible depths in meditation, discovering a mudra, transmitted to me through the ether. It is here where I came face to face, and foot to slither with the darkest of snakes.
It was here that my passion for art was reignited. If I recall correctly, it is here where I smoked my first cigar and experienced the “space” it creates in solitude.
Trip to Turkey
My trip to Turkey was to teach me how coarse and searing I can be. It is here where I was taught how my spiritual search can hurt people.
It is here where I met up with a dear Russian girl/friend of mine. This is someone who I haven’t seen for 7 years, and I choose to believe that this emotional peak was predestined for both of us.
This trip was shortly after Cyprus, and I was exploring Istanbul with great joy and interest. It’s definitely one of the most aesthetic cities in terms of “historicity” I have been to.
It is here where I got my first cornrows ever, my hair was just starting to get long enough for it. It is here where my personal spiritual experiences led me to lack foresight and become emotionally unavailable (blunt, for lack of a better word).
My friend came with a certain image of me and an expectation, and it was shattered. Although, expectations are very rarely met, if ever.
She left Turkey with the reality of me, and I think it gave her immense freedom in her personal life. I am happy to see she is thriving and pursuing what seemed so far to her.
It’s also here where I rewatched the movie “Big Fish” by Tim Burton. Of course, I cried again. The movie and writing by Daniel Wallace is quite brilliant.
They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up. - Senior Ed Bloom, “Big Fish”
Life in Vietnam: Ongoing
My trip and time living in Vietnam is still ongoing, so there will be a lot to talk about. Just the other day, I had a pivotal experience/person introduced into my life. I have no idea why or for what reason yet, I have some ideas, but I’ll let them marinate with time.
Hopefully, you’ve been able to get some perspective into my life in Vietnam from this article. Maybe you even got insight on some of my other aspects of life outside of Vietnam.
I just noticed this article is already at 7887 words, which is the longest article I’ve written for free, to this date. There’s proof to the effects of the Vietnam lifestyle.
I can ramble on about all my other travels and the experiences therein, but that’s probably best saved for other articles. These are just some of my reflections on living abroad.
If you’d like for me to write more, maybe to illuminate some of your own experiences or share some insights, please leave me some feedback or contact me via social media/email.
A Poem for the Finale: Albatross
I wish I was an Albatross, a seabird soaring quite high,
Rising in the wind, wings spread wide against the sky.
Over a vast ocean, I'd fly and glide with grace,
My shadow dancing on the water's surface face.
With a span of wing so grand, I'd ride upon the breeze,
Skimming the waves of seas with relentless ease.
Clouds would be my dearest, pillowed and white,
As I'd continue on my never-ending flight.
Free from the constraints of plottened ground,
Among stars and spheres, true freedom found.
Whilst people gaze up with wistful eyes,
I'd sleep in currents beneath the moonlit skies.
Oh, to be that bird, so free and wild,
My life unbounded, just like dreams of my inner child.
So here I stand, with visions that soar,
An Albatross at core and heart, forevermore.
…
I wrote this on the 22nd of September, 2024 while living in Vietnam. This is the best way I can provide an emotional representation of discovering Vietnam as a new place amongst all others.
P.S Tyger
Get in touch with me if you wanna build something or have a conversation.